According to Pak Wahid Satay, Indonesian Minister of Forest Burning, their annual satay party has just started.
The haze will linger for a few weeks or even months. Since nuking Indonesia is not an option, we should live with the haze by heeding advice by the health authorities.
You should:
- refrain from having sex in the outdoors, even in small spaces as advocated by the Minister of Small Head.
- avoid outdoor sports or physical activity. Don’t jog your way to the hospital ok?
- not try to burn the Indonesian Embassy down but if you must, blame the Bruneians
- avoid alfresco dining unless you have a thick BBC accent or just plain dense
- play more mahjong and enjoy the aircon and bonding
Nutrition wise, we listen to the G ok?
” We give 11 months of fresh air to our neighbours. They should be alright with one month of satay burning smoke”, Pak Wahid says.
How are the common folks coping?
Abang Yazid
” Sial la! My satay business outside Lao Pa Sat damn jialat now. Everyone is staying indoors! ”
Madam Boo Bee, fruit & vegetable seller
” Wah! My business is doing very well. Lotus root, broccoli, kiwi, oranges everything they sapu. I must send a hamper to the Indonesian Embassy! ”
Mahathir Iskandar Kutty, money changer
” I tell you. When the haze comes, my business will fly. Like my customers. Flying to other countries to escape the haze. ”
Brace yourself for more smoky days ahead 😰😷😡
